Confidence and Self-Esteem

What is Self-Esteem?

 A person's confidence is directly related to their self-esteem. This is often also called self-image. Simply defined it is the way a person feels about themselves. Ideally a person's self-image is very positive, hence the expression "loving yourself". Unfortunately things that happen in life create "judgmental" feelings that are often interpreted as criticism or condemnation. If we allow such feelings to effect us, we take on that comment or criticism and believe it. Once that happens we act as though it were true, accepting that we are in some way "faulty". When self-confidence and self-image is strong, we can accept criticism and act on such feedback in a positive problem solving way, without being "hurt" by it.

What can be done to improve self-image and confidence

There are a number of things that are needed in combination. Some practitioners just give symptomatic relief treatment. This is not a good idea since unless underlying issues are addressed, the problem will inevitably return. Worse still it is always more disheartening when you though you had overcome the problem!

Underlying issues are addressed using counselling, psychotherapy and related "talking therapies".  These are designed to draw out those comments, traumas and beliefs that are stored without question in the subconscious. Just be drawing them out and being conscious of them, you gain an element of control over them. Of course it also means that once identified the issues can be tackled with other forms of therapy too. These might be positive visualisation, positive self-talk, positive affirmations, meditation, self-hypnosis, hypnotherapy, Neuro linguistic programming (NLP) or a combination of techniques best suited to the individual client.

In addition to treating the underlying causes, behaviour change techniques can be used directly to increase confidence, improve self-image and get the client to think positively about themselves. These are very effective, but should always be used in combination with treating the underlying causes. It is common for clients to commit to both, then start to feel better because of the behaviour change component, and think the work is done! Luckily most of the return and finish the process. this does however waste time and it is better to stick with the course and finish the process sooner!

As well as behaviour change and the talking therapies, life coaching is very useful. This is because a person's progress is optimised if their circumstances and environment are positive. Thus making positive changes in lifestyle and environment can nurture the client and their progress. Obviously remaining in a very negative environment is not helpful when you are trying to feel better!

All change can be a little scary, even painful when dealing with and facing underlying fears. Having said that, most people find the process of learning to love and respect themselves pleasant, uplifting and empowering.

Typically clients will have two or three initial sessions over three to five weeks. After the process is initiated, sessions are usually then spaced out at fortnightly intervals. This is important since the client needs time between sessions to make changes and discover information, "homework" if you like. In some locations the initial sessions are combined into a day of work, and following sessions are monthly instead.

The award winning "Stress Pack" is used as a training tool with self-esteem clients. It is a personal analysis and development tool that helps clients to maintain progress between sessions and discover valuable information about themselves for their own reference and for discussion in sessions.